From the moment the strip turned pink, I knew I could never love anything else as much as I did you. I had prayed for you since I was a little girl. I fought for your life, and will continue to do so for the rest of mine. You reached down into the debs of my heart and pulled out the person I was always meant to be. Your mother. And now our time alone together has come to an end. Your sister is here and my heart is fuller than its ever been, but also feels divided. You've changed so much in this last week. Your independent, and funnier than ever. I hate thinking that you might possibly feel like we've replaced you with another little girl. But that is not true. As I learn to adjust my time and spread my love for you both, please be patient with me and I will with you. You will always be my first born, the one who made me a mama. And you'll always be my baby.

So thankful for Alyssa and her capturing these last magical moments of just the two of us. Follow her at @alyssaricole on instagram.  

And Thank you to my sweet mama friend Jessica Klein for doing my makeup! Follow her on instagram @j_Klein21 She as the most beautiful family. Her son is a freaking stud, and her daughter is a dream! 

As I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: How could I ever love another child as I love you?

Then she is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you’ve never shared me before. I hear you telling me in your own way, “Please love only me” And I hear myself telling you in mine,”I can’t,” knowing, in fact, that I never can again.

You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again.

But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I’m afraid to let you see me enjoying her — as though I am betraying you.

But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.

More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast. But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two.

There are new times — only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other. I watch how she adores you — as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of her new accomplishments.

And I begin to realize that I haven’t taken something from you, I’ve given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you. I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong.

And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you — only differently.

And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you’ll never share my love. There’s enough of that for both of you — you each have your own supply.

I love you — both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.